Dreaming of the day

Just went to see
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR
at the Artscape theatre:) And it was truly and utterly amazing:)
I am not usually into that religious stuff but that show had so much talent i couldnt help but be moved by it.
And almost as soon as the opening scene began, i started wishing i was up on that stage again. I miss it so much:/

DRIZZLING..

its that time of day again when i am sitting on my bed, staring at my phone and wondering why i haven't got a reply. Then comes the moment when i re-read pre messages and convince myself that nothing wrong. Even though i know EXACTLY why i havent got a reply. It just seem right. This cant REALLY be the reason i cant be texted.
Now is that moment when i go onto facebook and prey that the one person i want to talk to might just come online.
^^ No luck there^6 But i knew there wouldnt be.
And the final pat is those tiring minutes when i put the heating on, play some Ellie Goulding or Taylor Swift- or any one who sings about love and life- And i stare at the ceiling endlessly thinking of nothing. Except you. ♥

Where is the love?

 i have a question. It is deep and meaningful so be warned. 

"What is love?" 

A friend of mine said, " You know when you are in love because you smile when they smile. Whenever you see them the world lights up. You want to hold every minute." 

SOme one else said, "it is thinking about them every second. And missing them when they are not around. 

Or else, "Love is wanting to hold them when they are sad. Want to cry when they cry. Smile when they smile. Laugh when they laugh. And want to be with them every second." 

But the description that meant the most to me wasnt said by a friend,or lover. Or any one i know. In fact, i dont even know who said it. But i cant get it out of my head. Here it is: 

"LOVE IS GIVING SOME ONE THE POWER TO DESTROY YOU, AND TRUSTING THEM NOT TO." 

Think about it. Dwell on it. Mean it 

I am very confused now

Given i have zero to the none followers, i feel that i can pretty much use this blog as a diary. Maybe one day some one will read it and know that what they said made me feel whatever way because of whatever thing that  happened at whatever time:)
You see, the thing is, i am a pretttyyyyy chilled person. I dont worry at the big things that need worrying about, and i do insane overreacting at small the things that i have read to far into:/
C O M P L I C A T E D.
A particular phrase has been circulating my mind quite a lot recently.
"It feels like things are falling into place but really there just falling apart"
^^ it is exactly how i feel right now:)^^ like things are going well, but to me, they are falling apart:/

Just a poem

Okay, this a poem i wrote. It is basically a metaphor about Anne Franks journey. Most people cant figure it out. See if you can:)

One hope left

We’ve got nothing but time and still we are running out.
You can sprint in circles or whisper a shout
I am a postman but I never get mail
we got lost in the dark whilst following a trail

I am blind but still I can see

It makes sense to you just not to me
It was only a second, that’s all it took
A chapter too short to reach the end of the book

Step off the pavement and into the road
All that time for a virus to load
Some letters on a page or numbers on a screen
Its easy to hurt someone with things you don’t mean

Stand in the sky, through your head in the air
the invisible man can still be scared
Fade into the distance, blend into the night
try to disappear to escape the fight

One simple mistake in a moment that wont matter
a book put of place or papers that scatter
Storm into the house and break the quiet
Destroy a family, for the sake of a riot.

Join the crowds, lose your wealth
Not only that but you lose yourself
Forget who you are and where you belong
Cant find the words to a sentence or tune to a song

We thought we would last, we thought it would mend
But horror like that rarely has an end
Its all too late, there was no white dove
Our only hope left, is to hold onto love.

They are back....

Yess. They are back. With a killing mean streak and a vengeance. No one knows how they got there. Or how they breed. But there is only one way to get rid of them....
THE REVENGE OF THE KILLER LICE!

The revenge of the killer Hockey Stick

So we had HOCKEY TOUR all weekend:) In George:) We played York School, and lost epically, 3-1 :/ but admittedly we never practice on astro and they always do so....NOT TO MAKE EXCUSES OR ANYTHING:) And also just as we started playing it began to dump rain, then it stopped when we finished our failure of a match:) It was a rather epicly interestingly boring 6 hour journey back home tonight:) And we stayed at a hostel the last night:) Which was very fuuun:) The grade 10's kicked us out of our dorm cause we are 'Ical grade 8's' So i went and invaded the other dorm:) ANd i found some new friends in the other older grades:) It was all in all very fun:)
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Skidding in the mud with Abbey
- Dancing in the rain during half time
- Banding together to support the first team match
- Jumping on people in the hostel
- The bus ride with Becca
- Attacking Alice
- Being a maggot with Abs, Em, bex, Cait & El
- Disturbing everyone at lights out
LOWLIGHTS:
- Being wacked in the mouth
- Watching my best friend get continously injured
- Hiking across half the world with bags
- Changing in the street
- Eating Crap food
- Being generally cold and wet
- Hockey practice after our game
- No showers
- Having the guys being injured and being 1300 Km away and not being able to help
- Being insulted.
BUT  HAD AN AMAZING WEEKEND WITH SOME AMAZING PEOPLE AND AMAZING MUSIC. WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME AND DO IT AGAIN:)

We may all die! buut i have a helmet

Right so todaaay there was a major of all major scandals at school:) <---- Only Smiley because everyone likes a good gossip just saying:)
It would litterally give me endless joy to tell you of this HISTORIC EVENT:) But i fear i cannot in case on day, Some fabulous person happens to read my blog and in the process, reads this scandal and that amazing person, who i love from that moment on, unless they destroy my life or reputation, happens to know some one who was involved and then while they are casually saying how amazing this blog is <---Just saying---> In passing, they also mention the scandal, and they person who they are discbing my awesomeness to asks who wrote the blog, and they say" Oh just the Fantastically talented Ty Bennett" Then that awestruck person goes to her friend and says "You know that superbly brilliant girl Ty Bennett? she wrote about some scandal on her blog, and YOU were mentioned!" Then that person gasps and tells her best friend, who goes to my school and knows me, about my writing talent and what i wrote about on that day, and they come to me and slap the bejesus out of me. And i have no friends and so no love life and i fail school from depression and lack of company and end up living in the streets with litlle of no future. And that is whay i will not tell you about this scandalas scandal:)

Its Only Dark Poetry

I wade through hurricanes,

whirling miserable cyclones;
I twist in the sky and fall to the ground
in deafening thuds that break hearts.

I crash to the floor, to crumble and burn
an angry force. Everlasting, never-ending.
I am lost in hate, surrounded by lies
in this lonely expanse, called my mind.

A rage glows inside me like the sun in the desert
its rays penetrating my soul
and creeping in my veins
Eyes watch and eyes see
I am always alone. Only me.

When is it over?
When is it done?
This awful disaster has only just begun
I scream to the silence. I roar to the night
beating the ground, lost in the fight

Stamping the ferns like lives in a jail
an echoing noise, a piecing wail.
I am an unopened letter never did it send
A raging storm rarely has an end

I punch and I kick
I beat and I shudder
Like leaves in the wind, a bag in the gutter
as I fall in the rain, the end begins again
I break apart, losing my insides
whatever was there I simply can’t find

I could search forever but there’s no-where to go
Caught up in my hate, wrapped in woe.
I tumble and churn fiery and hot
I fear that pain might never stop
I wasn’t ready when it came, I prey for it to leave
I was left without hope, yet I’ll always believe.

- Ty Bennett

Skank? Me? No!

So today was school again *Moan* And we were in our sexy winter uniform *groan* Which is actually rather sexy:) Skirt (worn highwaist of your cool)  Blue Shirt ( tucked in regardless how cool you are) tie (lose around your neck if you are rebel) Blackmail tights ( that ALWAYS fall down) black lace up shoes and blazer (sleeves rolled up to be 'relaxed' looking) I got attacked by Chlo and Pish in EMS because they were hyper:) Then we had play rehearsals *sigh* Although we do actually have a chance of winning this thing:D And i got totally depressed because i thought my love life had fallen apart (it hasn't- still hooked;) Then Chlo attacked me again buuuut i think it was more of a friendly gesture this time:/ And i came home and listened to The Script who i am in love with:)
I have taken to wearing my pyjamas and dancing round my room singing oh so very tunefully along to Taylor Swift- Who is my role model:) I find that a different one of songs i can relate to at a different time:) Today it was Sparks Fly:) That is all:) Interesting post i suppose:) I also wrote a very happy [insert sarcasm here] poem, which i will post in a mo:) CHEERS:)

These days i havent been sleeping

It is almost midnight and i still cant  sleep:/ There is thunder rolling in outside and lighting splits the sky in the two ever time it flashes. The house is dark and silent. Just the sounds of my steady heart beat and typing to disturb the silence. You keep entering my mind. Like a ferris wheel that doesnt stop. I play back our every moment and adjust each vision to my liking. Until i dont know what is fantasy and what is reality.

Alice Alice who the ^$$% is Alice

I went to Alices house today:) It was very Interesting:) She told me alot:)

Its a fear- Conversation

[What are you most afraid of?]

I am most afraid of being hurt.

Not the physical kind of hurt. Not the kind that beats and cuts you, leaving your skin bruised and bloody.

But the kind that tears at your heart. The kind that makes your mind spin and your soul ache. The kind that keeps you up all night wondering what went wrong. The kind of hurt that creeps into your every thought and word, that twists your insides and makes you want to scream with the pain of it.

I am most afraid of who might hurt me. And why.

[I will never hurt you]

[how do i know that though?]

[Because the thing that scares me most, is losing you]

Playing Golf

Yess. For all those sad people who don't know me, I am possibly one of the most uncoordinated of all uncoordinated people. This is why me playing golf, with a stick, and a ball is  not a good idea:)
But i did indeed try out this sport.
NOTE: Playing golf with Ty is potentially very dangerous and possibly harmful to yourself, herself and others. Health hazard may be fatal.
And yess, i did actually hit a ball. But sadly that ball that i hit also hit that poor man who collects the balls. You probably thinking "LIAR! there is net around that little man in his awesome ball-picking vehicle" so yes, you are right, there usually is. But that poor little man in the awesome ball-picking vehicle decide to wipe his windscreen at the same precise moment i decided to hit my ball. So as the man was leaning toward the mesh of the 'safe net' to put his hand out and wipe the windscreen, i hit my ball and it hit the mesh, but sadly also, the man. Who was knocked out cold for 30 minutes. MY BAD:)

A little lesson

When i was in grade 6, The head teacher called me to her office. There was a counsellor in there and my class teacher. To a ten year old, being called into the head teachers office surrounded by 'concerned faces' was, well, TERRIFYING! anyway, that is not the point. I could spend ages telling you about the trouble i got into in prep school. The point is, is that the teachers in that world said i had a problem. No not downs or dyslexia (<--which i have been told i have by the way but i don't) They said that i spent too much time with my head in the clouds. Too much time fantasying about what could or might happen. But hasn't. That is to say, I live a virtual existence. Imagining rather than doing. Not a could thing if you want to pass matric. So recently, when tragedy has struck, i thought about this little meeting i had. The one i never told my parents about, for fear of being locked up in heaven knows what kind of awful mental institute. I suppose the teachers thought my loving 'rents would take me out of school. Send me to place where i would be 'better adapted to social activities' but as my Mutti and Farty never knew about the encounter, i continued at St Cyps. And i won a scholarship to the High School there. So you never know what could happen. if i had left, i would never had found my amazing friends, or gotten so close to certain people. <-- That is the thought i shall leave you with. You never know what might happen if youjust believe.

Thats just how i roll:)

Right:) So this is like my twelfth of something blog:) I have a tendency to forget to update:/
But this time, i WILL remember. Because this blog is going to get me famous.
Yup that is right. I think i should maybe say it again: THIS BLOG IS GOING TO GET ME FAMOUS.
^^ that felt good:) ^^
I am a full time actress:) Movies, adds, modelling, agents the whole hollywood jive:) Except i am not in America. I would LIKE to be there. But i am not. I am stuck here. I would say where but i would rather not be stalked and jazz:)
I am also a published writer. My father is soon to be published:)
I can lose myself in the letters. Spend hours just putting words on a page. Tracing ink into sentences that form my inner most thoughts, my most exuberant of day dreams.